My graduate program, like I think many, certainly comes with it’s fair share of external formulas. I’m currently reading Marcia Baxter Magolda’s book, Authoring Your Life: Developing an Internal Voice to Navigate Life’s Challenges (2009) for my Internship II course, and as a prominent thinker and researcher in the field of student development, she is one of the people who we study a decent amount. Although theory is my weakness, Baxter Magolda is actually a theorist who has really resonated with me. In the third chapter of this book, we meet a character (research participant) called Mark who discusses his experiences getting into and through Law School, what he calls the “legal culture’s map for success” (p. 77), and how this map for success became a somewhat forceful external formula in his life. He says that it goes something like this: “Get to know influential professors to get a good clerkship, get on the law journal, and write papers to publish” (p. 77), and although law school I’m pretty sure is dramatically different than a program like the one that I am in – the similarities are pretty striking. As I think about my program – Higher Education and Student Affairs Administration (HESAA) – at its core, I think that the map of success is the same idea as Mark’s version of the legal culture map. If I switch out a few industry terms, I come up with what a HESAA or Buffalo Student Affairs culture map of success might look like: Attend conferences and join professional associations in order to make connections for future work experiences (internships, GAship, professional positions), focus on Student Affairs (not other areas of higher education administration), land high level Student Affairs job or go on for PhD, or both.
These external formulas are prevalent throughout our coursework, our interactions with faculty and our supervisors, and in most of the directly Student Affairs related interactions that I’ve had throughout my time in Buffalo as a graduate student. And, I word it in that way to stress that although the relationship building aspect of this map is something I’ve experienced throughout my career in higher ed, the second and third points of that Buffalo Student Affairs map are truly very specific to this local culture of higher ed, and not anything I had been exposed to professionally coming into this program. Having worked in both worlds of Academic and Student Affairs, I had never really felt the push to focus solely on Student Affairs, or get my PhD prior to coming to this program. I have to admit, I didn't fully understand that my roles in the Registrar's Office, in library administration, and in veteran educational benefits were somewhere outside of Student Affairs. I chose this program thinking that there would be a focus on all Higher Education Administration only to find that the focus is entirely Student Affairs related. That being said, I think it has been deeply valuable to learn more about Student Affairs and to broaden my basic view of a system that I am actively a part of!
Acknowledging that this map of success exists I feel is a critical part of cultivating an internal voice – but that is not to say that I feel that having a culture map, or external formulas as a graduate student is “bad” or that they should be ignored. I think it is the responsibility of educational programs to provide a framework of success for their students, but to also provide the skills to critically analyze whether or not that path to success is right for each individual. One of the things that Mark talks about is what success really means to him – does it mean following this map to a great resume and professional accolades? Does is mean sacrificing who he is in order to achieve a measure of success that is meaningless to him personally (Baxter Magolda, 2009)? I found that really astute and insightful. I think that my program, while providing a framework, and some suggestive and tempting external factors, does in fact also provide that which I mentioned above – the tools and skills to develop the ability to discern your own voice over the din. Courses like Internship I and II especially, really get us as students thinking about ourselves and how to listen to and trust our internal voices.
Still, the lure of success as defined by others is incredibly difficult to resist no matter how well you know yourself. What I find for myself is that while I try my best to do well in school (like the other students, and how our professors expect we will do), and I found what I would consider an “appropriate” Student Affairs job before graduation, I am not locked into any one specific path or future. To many people in my life it has seemed that I am a vagrant, a wanderer, and that I will never stay put in a place or a job for too long – and therefore, I will never be successful. One person even went so far as to question my commitment and follow-through - which is both unbelievably soul-crushing as well as unbelievably incorrect. What has a negative connotation for some, has an equally positive connotation to me. You’re darn tootin’ I’m a vagrant, a wanderer, and that I’ll never stay put!
I think that it is easy to let tradition and structure seduce you and dictate what is best for you – but what I feel is important is to remember that if those norms do not bring you happiness and joy, the only person you need to answer to at the end of the day is yourself (and sometimes a very supportive partner!). This of course is easier said than done, and it’s something that most people work on balancing for their entire lives. I think that the case study of Mark in this book is fascinating because you can really see his transition over time in working on this exact thing. He cultivates a life for himself and his family by going with the flow and making decisions as they need to be made. He doesn’t try too hard to plan ahead or set goals, so as not to lock himself into something that doesn’t fit his happiness rubric, and that really speaks to me. I think our society is really goal oriented, but that is not something that I have ever been. While I let that make me feel like an outsider for a long time, at some point I woke up and said, “who cares if that’s what everyone else does”. Setting goals and following someone else’s map is not going to get me to happiness, or success, but seizing opportunities as they come my way, embarking on adventures, staying true to myself – and to paraphrase Mark – gracefully engaging in a dance with life where it’s tough to see who’s leading (Baxter Magolda, 2009) – that is my way forward, that is my map, and that is my happiness.
I try to think of it this way - nothing is permanent; no situation cannot be changed; and in the words of one of my favorite songs – this moment, change is everything.
[Check out the song and the incredibly beautiful video! I feel like it's an exact representation of my life, and the sentiments shared in this post.]
Cheers,
Brianna
References:
Baxter Magolda, M. (2009). Authoring your life: Developing an internal voice to navigate life’s challenges. Stylus.
Son Lux. (2015). Chang is everything. On Bones [CD]. Glassnote Records.