This is a competency area that I have done a lot of work on in my life. As a middle class white citizen from a small suburban town in Upstate New York, I was raised in somewhat of an insular bubble. I did not have much contact with the greater world until I went to college, and much of what I was taught through the actions and words of my hometown needed to be very intentionally looked at through my personal microscope. Through this indefinite process, I am able to take in all the experiences that I have had and use this educated lens to work towards bettering and tailoring my reactions and responses to what life send my way in a more deliberate and ethical way. At its core, my motivation for how I see the world is that all persons should be treated equitably, and be afforded the same opportunities to succeed, and I will do whatever is in my power to be what I consider it is to be a good person, not hurting others, but rather helping with whatever is in my power. This is how I wake up each morning, and approach every situation.

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I believe that experiences in my personal life, and perhaps even more importantly, in my professional life and workplace, have brought me to an intermediate to advanced level of competency in PEF. While I have worked personally to explore, cultivate, and articulate my own set of ethics, I could not have achieved the level of competency I am at without the hardships I have faced in my professional life.

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One position in particular put my personal ethics to the test in such a way that pushed me to make decisions that would ultimately affect my livelihood. When I first started, I was very fortunate to receive promotion after promotion for my hard work and dedication. I felt that I was on the right track, and got along well with my coworkers and supervisors. However, the higher I climbed up the proverbial ladder, the more I was exposed to practices with which I became exceedingly uncomfortable. I first brought my concerns to whom I directly supported; telling her that I did not feel what she was having me do was either legal, or ethical. After being berated and told that I should ask less questions, I found that although I was no longer being asked to do certain things, this person was now doing them on her own. I, being the one in charge of reviewing her files one way or the other, knew what was happening, and decided to take it up to the next level in my chain of command. Unfortunately, I was met again with indignation that I should question the legality of my colleague’s work. I was again asked to turn a blind eye to what was happening. As a last resort, I enlisted the help of another colleague whom I trusted implicitly. It was this colleague who was in charge of our federal compliance, and after I described what had been going on for months, she guaranteed me that going forward, she would take into account all of my findings prior to approving the files for my supervisor.

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While this proved to curtail some of what was going on that was of questionable ethical nature, it was merely a symptom of the greater culture in this workplace. For me, it was not just that what was happening was illegal, but more so, unethical. What was being done was putting people’s lives that were in our hands into potentially grave danger and into unknowable situations at the expense of making a deadline and making money.

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I knew when I challenged the leadership that it was a risk, but for me, and for my coworkers, it was more important to stand up for what was right, than to remain employed. My personal ethics dictate that I am not in this life, or this profession to do harm, and that all people should be treated fairly regardless of their identities. I find that situations like these are opportunities for growth despite how challenging they may be at the time. It is much more important to be true to yourself and what you believe in by showing integrity, than it is to sacrifice yourself and others to get ahead.

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One of my most cherished experiences that made for a sometimes dichotomous internal dialogue was serving on a Tuition and Fees Appeal Committee. In many situations, students requested that their tuition and fees be waived or returned after the add/drop period had passed. In these instances, our committee reviewed the circumstances presented by the student in tandem with their supporting documentation. In medical situations, we reviewed documents that often included hospital stays, long term drug or physical treatments, and at times, life-altering events. It was our responsibility to tease out the facts of the situation, and determine what action we would take in rectifying a student account.

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My PEF was often put to the test in these situations, especially as they related to a student’s own, or family member’s health and wellbeing. I frequently had to assess my own personal ethical beliefs, and in situations when someone was truly suffering, my empathic nature went into overdrive. However, I also knew that there were rules in place for the university, and that policy needs to be upheld barring glaringly mitigating circumstances. I found that through the dialogues over these tough cases, my team was committed to keeping each other accountable and seeking out incongruent reactions. For example, if one member of the committee was treating a case differently than another with similar circumstances based on the character of the requestor, we really delved deeply into what it was that we were basing our decisions on. Additionally, we identified guidelines for criteria so as to remove disparities in our judgement on future cases. One of the most troubling pieces of this process for me, was learning not to take home the decisions that we made when they felt morally wrong, but followed policy. We tried to build time into our meetings to reflect on our actions and decisions, and made an effort to check in on each other to be sure that we were on top of our own mental health in the wake of such a difficult job.

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Although my personal ethics create a foundation for all things that I do within my workplace, many times the rules and policies that are in place are there for good reasons - not only keeping people safe, but also keeping the institution afloat. Where I may feel that a student is being genuine, there are many who are not and are trying to take advantage of the system. It was an interesting experience that helped me to grow exponentially. Entering into any profession with a solid foundation is going to allow for growth through new situations, but without that foundation, we have nothing on which to build.